Tweets of the Week, Part 3

At some point, I might even share why the Week 3 of the TotW is being posted at 2 a.m., but I'm not ready to go there just yet. Suffice to say, mistakes have been made - and possibly fixed - and while law enforcement was not involved, at one point tonight I was very much under the gun.

But I digress ...

I've been blogging on and off (or better yet off and sometimes on) for about two years. This is the first feature that I actually think might stick. The response to these columns has literally been off the charts. Thanks for taking the take to take a peek.

In the order I discovered them on my TweetDeck, here are the Tweets of the Week.

Saw Wikileaks guy on 60 min last night, I don't feel sorry for him. I do feel sorry for the Dyson vacuum guy who everyone thinks is him. - @adamcarolla (I knew I knew him from somewhere)

Wizards andre blatche thought process on shot selection : I have the ball, I am awake, I believe I will shoot. - @notthefakeSVP (I can think of a couple people playing Vt. H.S. hoops that subscribe to that philosophy.)

I'm not spelling any more names tonight. 0-2. A first name and a last name. Me dummy. - @notthefakeSVP (Rule 1, don't drink and tweet.)

Here's the deal: We live in the northeast. It's winter. It snows here. We have plows. We'll be okay. Carry on. - @vtmotormag (This made sense after the midweek 'storm,' but after Saturday night, not so much)

Can't wait to go sledding, have a snowball fight and drink hot chocolate during snow day. I can still do that at 29 years old, right? - @aabrami5 (Yes, and you can have Bailey's in it, too!)

Hey! You cougars like to party? #worstpickuplines - @jivanjames (I'm not sure I see the problem?)

Careful now, Junior Clerk. RT @brandonwells15 @scorrow Glad someone else appreciates Division 3 basketball around the news room. - @aabrami5 (Now if you want to talk D-3 track ...)

The weather at the Super Bowl provided these gems from 'my girl' Michelle Beadle.

You know you're in Texas when a snowflake falls and the cabbie rocks a sweet 16 mph drive. I should be back in Ft Worth by morning. - @ESPN_Michelle

Now cab wants us to get out at next exit. 20 miles from hotel. Cuz he can't drive. If I commit murder, it should be justified. Way to prep! - @ESPN_Michelle

Free baby unicorns to the 1st person who can show me a snow plow. Come on!!!! (Really? Not one?) - @ESPN_Michelle (I know, not the best TotW, but she's do danged cute!)

Cab driver telling me about his dads 2nd wife and how they were incompatible "until it was time for sex". I didn't sign up for this - @notthefakeSVP (Scott Van Pelt is the reason Twitter was invented)

Just back from really lame jog. Was terribly disappointed that there wasn't a can of Pringles waiting for me at home. #reducedcaloriethough! - @robneyer (Resounded with me because I got P90X this week and haven't dared put the first DVD into the machine)

It resembles basketball, only uglier. Enosburg boys lead Lake Region 24-16 at the half. Efhs scoreless for first 5:22 of 2nd qt. - @scorrow (Hey, I made a funny!)

Thundersnow.... If Vermont ever gets back a pro hoops team, that's the new name. #snowpocolypse #imscared - @RobAndRichshow (But it never will.)

Just invented the word “bro-ner.” Still working on the definition. - @ConanOBrien (I thought it was when your brother makes a mistake, or am I missing the point?)

I can imagine the voice of God sounds something like a Ditka. #superbowl - @jivanjames (Maybe Ditka's God. You never see them at the same place at the same time.)

Watching Twitter is more fun than watching the #SuperBowl - @WCAX_Seth (Amen that!)

These teams can really punt. - @therealcarl2 (Ditto)

Roll Grace Potter and the Nocturnals out there and you have a halftime show. Canned peas don't do it - @pgammo (Love the love for the Vt. band from the Dean of N.E. sportswrite(rs)

In 20 years we will ask a lot of questions about this half-time show. - @RyenRussillo (In 20 years it will seem like Up With People)

Anyone notice the stage lights on the "V" in "LOVE" are out. It's because #Fergie is #fergatrocious. - @VTMotorMag (Fergatrocious? Made me laugh out loud!)

I kid you not: My 3-year-old just pointed to Fergie and said, "That lady has testicles." #kidsarethebest - @JeffPassan (I'm a little concerned he knows that word, but apt)

The halftime show, brought to you by Auto-Tune and Botox. - @JeffPassan (Heard they are the presenting sponsors next year when Justin Bierber headlines with help from Ozzie Osborne)

Rogers have a bazooka my god - @ozzieguillen (I think he's impressed or issuing a dire warning - not sure which)

Stayed too long. Made a fool of himself. Wife hates him. Former team wins it all with the QB they preferred. Nice year, Brett - @PeteAbrahams (Bravo!)

maybe they oughta dump mccarthy in a vodka bath. Vodka is the champaigne of gatorades. - @therealcarl2 (Especially funny because it's misspeled)

weird fact per espn research: only one other game in NFL history finished 31-25.. Eagles beat the Steelers in September 1952 - RT@jaysonst (And that game was also played on planet Earth)

That's all I got this week - keep those tweets coming and if you know of someone I should be following, hit me up with their name at @scorrow.

Tweets of the Week, Part II

I use the Roman numerals in homage to Super Bowl XXXLVIdon'thaveanyideaanymore.

Yes, TotW is back for a second week. Thanks to all who commented about it this week and made it a goal to be included. You both are very kind and clearly need to set your goals MUCH higher.

Before I get into this week's list, which is chronological (although I'm still not committed enough to throw dates and time stamps on the posts) I'll ask a favor. I'm kinda stuck on who I want to follow. Do you follow someone who is sometimes (or better yet consistently) funny, or ribald or perhaps pithy. (They are real words people, look them up!) Please leave their Twitter names in the comment section or shoot me an email.

Ok, I know, enough with the chitter-chatter.

Here's Week two of the OTS Tweets of the Week (did I mention I didn't invent this? I was STUNNED to do a Google search and see others have been doing this for a while - I HONESTLY thought I invented this. God, I'm a dork. OK, I'm done digressin - I promise!).

RIP Jack LaLanne. Well, so much for that ridiculous myth that exercise is GOOD for you. @alyankovic

(Yeah - the guy only lived to 138)

If I could have one super-power, I would select Paula Dean's ability to add ingredients without measuring.
@DennisDMZ

(Mine would be to turn water into hollandaise sauce)

Just got done talking to the kids at Brubaker Elementary...first question asked " Are you rich?"
@MBlakely2211

(Compared to them, yeah you probably are - but you now live in Iowa ... ewww!)

One day after Jets clean out lockers, universe is restored to order on NY's three tabloid back pages: Jeter. Jeter. Jeter.
@sportswatch

(It's going to be a long year for Jeets I fear. Or is that hope?)

Just got back from the Lakers-Jazz game. I might have to shower to get Utah's stink off me. They are a bad body language quagmire.
@sportsguy33

(Nobody turns a phrase like Bill Simmons - I'm stealing that one for sure)

I suspect these next four unfortunate posts - all made within about 5 minutes - are what happens when a 50-year-old is forced to Tweet by upper management.

@AdamSchefter yo adam, this is your colleague steve levy and i'm new to twitter and yur the 1st person i'm following, congratulations 2 u!

yes i'll be the guy watching the nhl's mock all-star draft on the nhl network at 8pm eastern...who's with me ?

van pelt, add me 2 your followers.rediculous since i'm sitting next 2 u for next 5 hrs but whatever. yeah i'm on twitter. B afraid & B Easy

@MattBarnabyESPN barnaby, its levy and yeah i'm on twitter and yeah i'm following you...and not to raleigh either, enjoy sullivans every nt

(On the up side, I don't think Steve Levy has Twitted - and yes I'm coining that term for dumb Tweets - since)

ok baby room, it's me and you tonight. how many think i can put a crib together?
@Pink

(Yes, I follow Pink - I'm not proud and that's not really that funny, I but I like her profile pic)

(These next few of posts are shamelessly self-promoting in so many ways - and therefore positively Twitterific! I mean what else is the point in this exercise, right?)

My goal for next week: Get mentioned in@scorrow's Tweets of the Week blog post.
@aabrami5

I think you did it!
@scorrow

Thanks for the rewteets lately-Now I just have to come up withthe killer tweet to complete w/ Alex on the Tweets of the week.
@vtscoreboard

I'd suggest the Alex Abrami sucking up approach!
@scorrow

(Anyone else want a piece of this Tweety goodness? C'mon, it's free. @jfantino, I'm talking to you!)

Did Egypt shut down Twitter and Facebook, too? How did people follow the Kardashians and ignore updates of dopes you knew in HS?
@PeteAbe

(My favorite - clean - TotW. If you are Sawx fan don't follow Pete then what's the fricken point of having an account.)

I feel pretty good that Vermont lost to BYU early in season. Jimmer Fredette is pretty much the best shooter in the world!
@VermontSports

(Good call there - Jimmer is going to be a verb in the tournament - i.e., Duke just got Jimmered out of the second round.)

Is it wrong to scream “You got pwned” in your son’s face after beating him at Hungry Hungry Hippos?
@ConanOBrien

(Why is Conan so much funnier in 140 words than on TV?)

Based on extensive field research, I can safely say TI's "Bring Em Out" may (still) be the most popular hoops warm-up song in the northeast.
@banner_sports

(But that doesn't make it good - I pray I see the day someone goes old school Motown for a smooth 20-min. of pregame tunage, but then again I'm really old.)

Pit boss great show shorty bad ass lol
@OzzieGuillen

(I know English is his second langauge, but is Ozzie even speaking English here?)

Watching curling before I head out to be a model tonight... I love Canadian TV. And curling. Best sport in the world after hockey.
@CarolineBright

(We might have to revoke her Miss Vt. title over this post.)

“@HeartbreakHeeb: What was your favorite bar in Burlington @ryenarussillo? I peg you as an Ake's place guy” Blarney Stone
@rayenarusslio

(Blarney Stone? Man, I thought Ryen was cool.)

Just when u think u've got parenthood nailed, u've got a burrito wrapped cryer laying sidewise on your lap in the dark in a rockin' chair
@BillyDemong

(This tweet from a U.S. Olympian skier could be put to music and rocket to No. 1 on the Country Top 40.)

My review of Dead Space 2 - furious dudes w/ slingblade arms kill you and eat your face ..for an hour. Then you put EA '11 back in. The end
@notthefakeSVP

(Methinks Mr. Van Pelt was not amused.)

It's none of my business, but if you're putting hot sauce on your pizza you're eating the wrong pizza.
@RobNeyer

(Obviously, Rob's dumb. Love a little hot sauce on everything except - to steal a line from SVP - cereral and ice cream).

He shoots, he scores! Martin St. Louis gives Team Lidstrom a 10-8 lead. #nhl #allstar
@WCAX_Seth

(I only hope that Seth was at work when he Tweeted this. I mean I love to Tweet, but NHL All-Star hockey tweets - with hashtags?!? You better be getting paid Bro!)

There's one more TotW I'm dying to post - made me laugh way too hard - but it's a little blue. I've debated posting it all weekend, but I decided I'll keep this a family blog given my line of work. However, if you email me - and I know you - I'll send it along.

Please send along any good Tweets you get and if you have someone I should be following, please let me know.

•••

SHAWN CORROW, when he's not dying to post just ONE more TotW - from SarahKSilverman - is owner of Cold Hollow Photography, a freelance photojournalist, a recovering sports editor, a temporary part time worker and permanent full-time smart ass.

Introducing ... Tweets of the Week

My name is Shawn and I'm a Twitter-holic.

And I'm not alone - I only follow about 150 Twitterers or are they Twits? I forget. Anyway, as lame as some Twits or Tweets can be, there's some pithy remarks that come down the line and I've decided to create a regular (or more likely, given my proclivities, a one-and-done) blog feature called the Tweets of the Week.

As the title suggests, it's a mish-mash of things that are either funny (mostly) or apt. At some point, I might get better at putting a context or date to the Twit or Tweet, but for this go round I'm going to do both ... or neither. Hey, it's my blog and I'll do what I want to.

Without further ado (and not Freddy Adu) here are my first Tweets of the Week.

(The too-cute Tweet of the Week)
• While eating lunch at my daughter's school, a 4th grader asks how I forcast the weather. Another answers "He has a weather-teller machine."
@TomMessner

(The why I'll never fly again TotW)
• Waiting to board connecting flight. Guy next to me barking at ex-wife on the phone that HE IS stable,and that she is afraid of happiness
@Buster_ESPN

(If I could be anyone for a day it would be Scott Van Pelt)
• People campaigning to get me an ESPY invite - I would end up bombed, pilfering gift bags and being creepy to Emma Stone. It'd be hideous.
@notthefakeSVP

(This is the tamest post she had this week, but one of my faves)
• I just can't imagine there's a god, but I do believe he has a plan.
@SarahKSilverman

(One of the few people more addicted to Twitter than I, and much more enjoyable to read)
• Young TV reporter to Francona: "What are the odds of you winning the championship?" Francona: "Are you from Vegas?"
@PeteAbe

(Our reigning Miss Vermont is prolific - and timely)
• Overheard at the #VTStateHouse: "You haven't played angry birds?! Here, let me show you..." *Legislator whips out iPad*
@CarolineBright

(Nice jab considering UVM beat the Bearcats in men's hoops Sunday)
• -7 in Burlington, -4 in Binghamton. They can't even beat us at bad weather. #gocatsgo #uvm #fearthestache
@VTMotorMag

(Seth is a fellow Twit-maven and his RTs - retweets - for you newbies - and pithy insights make me smile often)
• Well done RT @noahovernight You know it's cold out when they change the name to Al's French Frozen #vermontarctica
@WCAX_Seth

(I thought of this the first time they showed the ref in the Steeler-Jet game. He's what a real-life Ken doll looks like at 53.)
• How cold is it in Pittsburgh? Ed Hochuli has the pythons covered.
@richeisen

That's all I got for this week. To paraphrase the illustriuous (and often orange) Tony Kornheiser - I'll try to do better next time.

If you are feeling lucky, try to check back next Monday sometime after midnight for another edition of TotW. Who knows? It could happen ... and it might even be typo-free. Yeah, right.

SHAWN CORROW, when he's not making promises he likely will not keep, is the owner of Cold Hollow Photography and an infrequent blogger. Got a tweet that can't be beat, email it to him at shawn@coldhollowphoto.com